Wow. Blown away by your thoughtful responses. I will investigate the suggestions made. I don't know if its normal but I almost feel silly that I've written on here and people have cared enough to respond. Bc at the moment I don't seem to care enough about myself to Warrent strangers from around the world to care. Anyway I got up , had a shower, ate something and made the kids dinner. A slight improvement on being in bed all day. Joining this site and reading your lovely responses has made me feel better. It's not that I don't have support from friends , I do, but the difference is hearing from people who feel/ felt like I do. In New Zealand we say Kia kaha. It means stay strong. Kia kaha people