TiredWolf

I used to ask the same question myself. After a few relapses with drug addiction and more recently becoming a binge drinker, here's what I came to conclude:

Most of those "normal" people out there who don't drink and drug got their own issues...you just don't know about them. Tons of folks got problems with psychiatric issues, sex/gambling addictions, anger problems, addicted to exercise or physical fitness or can't manage money and under a ton of debt and financial woes etc.

You'd shudder if you knew what all kinds of crap all the normal people are struggling with. For some reason in our society addiction and alcoholism seems to put you in a separate class or whatever. But let me tell you, there are a lot of people and families who are living miserable lives behind closed doors to issues they keep in the closet that aren't drug or alcohol related.

Maybe a spouse has cheated, the wife has an eating disorder or anorexia, the dad spends all the spare money in gambling online or buying porn etc. It's rampant, it just doesn't make the news or get talked about in the employee lounges etc.

So don't beat yourself up, at least you are aware of your problem and have taken steps to fix things...which is a lot more than many normal people will ever even think about.