Originally Posted by
kale 
Add to this the idea that he is a very fastidious hider of his drinking habits. Everyone else thinks he is the nicest guy. I am the only one who knows his secrets. And he is generally a resentful, angry dude, who has made threats of divorce lately, and is deeply in denial. I don't like being the only keeper of his secrets and his shame.
The man is resistant to therapy, responsiblity, and self-reflection. Fond of inertia and blame.
Are we married to the same guy? Sure sounds like my husband.
You have your choices, and even as a cohesive group your family & in-laws can't make them for you (though perhaps they *think* they can/should). Kudos for you to having the clarity and strength to make the decision you felt was right for you!