snowman2154

So, I am new here for the most part. My drinking life started when I was 17 and has been on and off since then. I am not the daily drinker type of alcoholic. My pattern tends to be nights where I end up completely hammered and many times black out. These used to happen more often in college because I was a fraternity guy and we partied a lot. Now I have one of these episodes about once or twice a year. Last year, I decided to just quit since it made me feel horrible physically for a couple of days after then mentally for a couple of weeks. The shame and embarrassment were always there too. This most recent one was in line with the general cycle. I had not drank for about 4 months and decided around Christmas to have a few beers with no issues. I had about 4 nights out with friends over about a month then last Thursday I went to happy hour. That happy hour ended with me blacking out and waking up in a parking garage about 4 blocks from the bar we were at having pissed myself. I thought I might have gotten drugged and robbed, but after stitching things back together mentally realized I hadn't been and I just got drunk and couldn't find my way home so I crashed in the garage. The episode previous to that was about a year ago and ended in similar fashion, but I made it home.

I know this, I can't control alcohol in every instance I consume it. If I do consume it one of those times will be a bender where I will drink until I black out and pass out. Most of my friends just say, "Man, we all have to watch it" and make excuses.

I think I am a high-functioning alcoholic and if I don't do something about this it will end up killing me so I am going to AA and beginning to work the steps. I don't want to drink again, alcohol played a part in the death of both of my parents and it scared the hell out of me.

I guess I am looking for some positive re-enforcement that AA is the right step for this.