Notices

New here, need some advice....

Old 02-09-2013, 06:28 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Denver
Posts: 7
New here, need some advice....

So, I am new here for the most part. My drinking life started when I was 17 and has been on and off since then. I am not the daily drinker type of alcoholic. My pattern tends to be nights where I end up completely hammered and many times black out. These used to happen more often in college because I was a fraternity guy and we partied a lot. Now I have one of these episodes about once or twice a year. Last year, I decided to just quit since it made me feel horrible physically for a couple of days after then mentally for a couple of weeks. The shame and embarrassment were always there too. This most recent one was in line with the general cycle. I had not drank for about 4 months and decided around Christmas to have a few beers with no issues. I had about 4 nights out with friends over about a month then last Thursday I went to happy hour. That happy hour ended with me blacking out and waking up in a parking garage about 4 blocks from the bar we were at having pissed myself. I thought I might have gotten drugged and robbed, but after stitching things back together mentally realized I hadn't been and I just got drunk and couldn't find my way home so I crashed in the garage. The episode previous to that was about a year ago and ended in similar fashion, but I made it home.

I know this, I can't control alcohol in every instance I consume it. If I do consume it one of those times will be a bender where I will drink until I black out and pass out. Most of my friends just say, "Man, we all have to watch it" and make excuses.

I think I am a high-functioning alcoholic and if I don't do something about this it will end up killing me so I am going to AA and beginning to work the steps. I don't want to drink again, alcohol played a part in the death of both of my parents and it scared the hell out of me.

I guess I am looking for some positive re-enforcement that AA is the right step for this.
snowman2154 is offline  
Old 02-09-2013, 06:31 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Sobriety is Traditional
 
Coldfusion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,033
AA will be very helpful. My wife and I believe it has kept us sober for over three months now.

Welcome!
Coldfusion is offline  
Old 02-09-2013, 06:55 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Received's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,090
Hi snowman. Welcome to SR.

Binge drinking can be quite scary, or so I've heard. I was an all the time drinker. I haven't had blackouts in many years but I remember (or should I say don't remember) them well and it was quite terrifying to lose blocks of time.

I guess you've a decision to make regarding your alcohol consumption.

Look around, ask questions and know we are here.
Received is offline  
Old 02-09-2013, 07:01 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Denver
Posts: 7
The decision has been made... I am done and I am willing to do what it takes to stop for good. Over the last year, there times I have been sober my life is much better. I was sober for most of last year besides that incident. You guys following up with me just re-enforces it.
snowman2154 is offline  
Old 02-09-2013, 07:08 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
A work in progress
 
LexieCat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Snowman,

I think AA is amazing. My first husband has been sober in AA for 33 years now, and I am sober four and a half years. It will truly change your life.

"Functioning" is a relative term, and "functioning" alcoholics are generally in a stage on the way to completely NONfunctional. I'm glad you are getting off the crazy-train now. Some people may have more dramatic "bottoms" (my own was less dramatic than yours), but you can get off the elevator at any time. You don't need to see how far down you can go. Also, as my sponsor used to say, "Every bottom has a trap door." Keep doing what you are doing, and you have a great life ahead of you.
LexieCat is offline  
Old 02-09-2013, 07:10 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,416
Welcome snowman - great to meet you.

I was a binge drinker in my 20's. Once it was in my system I had no control over where it would take me. I kept playing with it, and over time I ended up completely dependent on it. You are wise to deal with this now. You'll never have to go through the hell that many of us have. Congratulations on this big decision. You'll never regret it.
Hevyn is online now  
Old 02-09-2013, 07:11 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
CharlieNoogan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 414
Wow. Your parking garage incident reminds me of a time I went out with friends and one of them had given me a ride downtown. I blacked out at the bar but didn't realize it (duh). I "came to" at 3:00am circling the levels of a parking ramp on foot desperately searching for my car. Thank God my car was parked at home because if I had found it in the ramp I would have tried to drive. In much confusion, I stumbled into a high-end hotel and booked a $350 room at about 4:30am, remembering I needed to be at work in 4 hours.

I woke up late for work, made a $20 local phone call to have my girlfriend bring my suit and tie to the hotel, and noticed that I had at some point broken my big toe the night before. After speaking with a friend later that day, he recounted that I had gotten so sloppy at a club that a bouncer threw me out. I apparently stood outside smoking a cigarette while that friend went back in to close our tab at the bar. When he came back out a few minutes later, I had disappeared. I have absolutely no idea what I did or where I went between about midnight and 3:00am. I would have definitely been an easy mark for the police, a mugger, or worse. Of course, I still didn't think I had a problem at that point.

The great thing is snowman, you don't have to do this to yourself anymore. Embrace recovery now, while your worst consequence is a pair of pissed pants and a bit of shame. I only wish I had stopped there.

AA is a great place to start. You will find a lot of like-minded folks who have "been there, done that" and who genuinely want to help you stay sober. Good luck my friend!
CharlieNoogan is offline  
Old 02-09-2013, 07:23 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
~sb
 
sugarbear1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,951
driving drunk and passing out in a car in a garage isn't very high functioning.....

those 12 steps saved my life, I believe they can help you, too!!!!

glad you found SR!
sugarbear1 is offline  
Old 02-09-2013, 07:42 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Denver
Posts: 7
I use the term high-functioning based on High-functioning alcoholic from Wikipedia in that I have been able to sustain a high-level of achievement despite my binge drinking. I have always been employed and am considered an expert in my field. My career is very important to me and I don't want to lose it. I also was a division 1 college football player. I think it is part of the reason I have been stubborn about this issue. Solving problems and being someone who knows their stuff is part of what I am good at. Alcohol is definitely a baffling and sneaky foe, the reality I found is that the problem of "controlling your drinking" isn't a solvable problem. I understand now what people mean when they say you can't have any at all. The only way to solve the problem is to realize you have to give up the desire to control it. If that makes sense.

I also didn't drive, I was on foot. It really doesn't make it any less of an issue.

I however, don't think this make me any more able to control alcohol in my life. Watching both my parents descend into alcoholism after they retired was a big wake up call and that combined with the last couple of incidents have made it clear to me I am an alcoholic.

I am also seeing a therapist who initially introduced me to AA a few years ago, but I was still in denial. I remember thinking about this same thing a couple of years ago after a wild night out with friends. At that point, the idea of never having another drink for the rest of my life was something I was very resistant to. Now I can honestly say that I am OK with that thought.

All in all I want to be the best person I can be and hopefully have a life I am proud of. I have always been someone people have looked to that did the right thing and I have take responsibility for myself and I think AA is the right way for me to do that. I am still full of anxiety and a bit fearful of the future, but I understand what "one day at a time" means and it makes it easier to think that way.
snowman2154 is offline  
Old 02-09-2013, 07:59 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,044
All in all I want to be the best person I can be and hopefully have a life I am proud of.
Sounds like a great aim to have Snowman
As you've seen already you'll find a lot of support here

I guess I am looking for some positive re-enforcement that AA is the right step for this.
I'm not an AA member, but AA has saved many of my friends lives, and many millions more besides - on that basis I can heartily recommend it's worth a look

if you want some links on programmes other than AA as well, though, let me know

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 02-10-2013, 05:14 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
nigey1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 340
your story resonates, best of luck to ya.
nigey1 is offline  
Old 02-10-2013, 09:11 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
vegibean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
Hey snowman, only you will know what is right for you, and trying out AA surely isn't a bad thing. I'm sure you'll learn a lot here, tons of great suggestions and plenty of people for support. Glad you found us, welcome to SR.
vegibean is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:44 PM.