Originally Posted by
Wifi 
She doesn't like to read or even talk about anything even slightly uncomfortable. [re: counseling]
... She freaked out stating I was the one with all the problems and how dare that lady think she had any issues... That was the end of that...
The first sentence about that shows me classic codependent characteristic and also possible passive/aggressive personality. I've known many, many people like this who had to run away from me when I even wanted to have an 'adult' conversation about life stuff.
Also, the second sentence reminds me of my mother who was what one counselor of mine referred to as 'dry drunk' as she was a daughter of an alcoholic (my grandfather) and the problems that I had were never partially hers at all. *rolls eyes*
When you mentioned in another post that your wife did say that she loved you but was no longer in love, I know that that was probably hard to hear and I am not sure in what context it was said exactly. But, it is something to pay real attention to. I say this because that is what I said to my AXH before I left him and divorced him. I loved him, but I was not in love with him anymore and he just did not get it and could not fathom or accept it until I was looking for apartments or a home to buy to leave him.
Yes, is this harsh and about my life and not necessarily yours- absolutely. But, if I can point out what happened in my situation and it somehow helps you cope, I'd rather just spill it.
This sounds like you are in a total multi-level disaster situation that did not happen overnight and probably had decades or at least years in development across the board- from son to wife, etc.
As for your son...get him out of your house and keep him out is what I would say only because I have seen this happen to too many families and it happened in my own. There is no good ending, even if he is out of the house, but at least he must work on it all on his own. She will feel bad and sad and your son will keep working the 'revolving door system' you have going on so far. It's your life, but it really sounds like you need and want to reclaim it from everyone taking it from you at the moment- son and wife.
We're just here to keep telling others what we've been through and seen a million times. It may repeat in others, it may not. Good luck with all the tough choices you're having to make.