I was touched by your post also. This disease is so powerful and its impact tremendous. But you CAN overcome its effects on you. Detachment is so important for us in Al-Anon. We do what we can, and then LET GO. If it is a medical crisis, the medical team can help. God can only help a spiritual condition. And what all of us have with this disease is a need for spirituality. I won't go into all this as I don't want to seem like a religious quack, but when I released my A's problems to him and God, I can't tell you the relief I felt.
I will pray for you and your husband. That you find peace and direction.....