Originally Posted by
Wifi 
Last night my middle son was upset because his older brother had stolen about half of his pain medication
Hide the meds so as not to upset the criminal and enabler. Think about it.
Time to man up and send the boy on his way.
The other boys are learning bad things from you and your indecisiveness.
There will be resentments later on.
If your wife don't like it, tell her she's not thinking clearly and you are making the best decision for the family. He is praying on her weakness.
If she keeps enabling against your wishes, take her off the accounts and have her get her own job to support him.
You may not be able to save him right now, but you don't need to teach the others how to disrespect and come between you guys as well.
If he has a change of heart and says he wants recovery, put him in a SLE and let someone else play warden.