I can only speak of my own experience with exah.
He had alot of revelations over the years. Sometimes they came from simple events...like a long heart-to-heart talk that he had with someone or something he saw during the day. Sometimes they came from major life events like the death of one of his parents or a DUI arrest or a health scare. He would come to me...much like your AH has come to you...and claiim that he had finally seen the light. He would say exactly what I wanted to hear...that he wanted to be the man I married again...that he wanted to be a good father and husband. And his words were always music to my ears. AT first, I would say a prayer of gratitude and embrace him and have hope for our future. As the years passed, the 'revelations' stopped meaning anything. They were empty words.
What I eventually learned... Big speeches about revelations meant nothing. I think he wanted to believe the words as much as I did. The thing is...the words were never backed up by action. With alcoholics, we have to focus on their actions...not their words. True recovery...true 'revelations'...take the form of changed behavior. The actions are sincere. If the actions are sincere...over a course of time...well then maybe you would feel close to him again. If your ah were truly a changed man, he would give you all the time and space you need to heal. He would let you learn to trust hi again. He wouldn't try to force immediate results.
Everytime I listened to my exah's words and gave myself to him physically with hope in my heart that things would change, I was always let down. I felt used. I felt manipulated. My self worth plummetted. Physical intimacy without REAL trust and love behind it is just an act. Without real and trust and love, it is degrading (at least it was for me).
Listen with your eyes Liz....not your ears...and not your heart. If there is real change afoot, you'll see it.