If you go to meetings I would suggest to keep them up because the time when they first come home is the time we need to make sure we stay ontop of our own recovery first.
A red flag for me that I see is that he is already threatening to pull away from you. It is almost like a threat, "If you don't act like nothing ever happened I'll pull away again". He is pushing you to be a way that you don't feel comfortable being. It doesn't seem like he has come to terms with everything he has put you through.
I hope that he really has had a bunch of revelations, but I was keep my eyes open when they start being all lovey dovey. Actions speak more than words do, so I would take things slow. We all know how quickly they can go from lovey dovey to the monster they become when they don't get their way or we don't act the way we want them to.
Stick to your guns on this one. If it doesn't feel right, then it prob. isn't. Try to keep the focus on you because it seems our A's think that once they change the whole world should resume as before.