Hey boris, sounds like you were in a pretty bad place. Hope you can find the support you need...
...don't give up giving up... maybe when you want to drink, throw yourself into researching where to find support - someone suggested maybe a spell in rehab, it might be worth starting the process of finding an appropriate one - or not if it's not for you - but researching where - how - anything - to get the support you need.
All the best ok? Stick with it.
