I'd say that you are right, your wife is a world class enabler. Is there a reason that your wife doesn't work?
Sometimes we codies become as sick, if not, sicler than the addict themselves.
You are faced with some hard decisions, can't tell you what to do, however, perhaps reading around this site might give you some insight. Take some time to read the stickeys at the top of this forum, cynical one's blogs and possibly consider some Naranon meetings for you and your wife...unfortunately you cannot force her to go, but, that doesn't mean that you cannot do so.
Keep posting, it will help.