For me, it was difficult to tell exactly when it started - EXAG drinking would only drink when I was out of town. I had to decipher over the phone, in which I was not always accurate-
For her, this last relapse manifested itself initially for a few months through dry drunk behavior- she started lying about things. Finally in October I noticed a larger change in her personality - or at least with her attitude toward me. It could have also been related to her starting up with her 3rd party. She says was using Nyquill to help sleep (red flag), picking fights with me while I was out of town, not eating right (her alcoholism and eating disorder in the form of restricting are closely related). Shortly after she moved out she started drinking again. The signs were there, but I again convinced myself she couldn't be - she went to rehab earlier in the year! Within 2 months she was out of control.