At 9yrs sober I had a 30yr marriage end, both parents passed and my dog died all within 6 mos.. I was living a bad country song. My first reaction not to drink but put an end to it all, now that was Stinkin Thinkin.
God, Alanon, therapy, and the support group I had established in AA saved my life. I had to go thru the pain and use the 12 steps to recover just like I did when I got sober.
You are on the right track don't give up before the miracle it will happen!