Firegirl, you can make this time better. I can tell.
There is a movie I have seen, it is not about recovery but the analogy to what I was saying is in this movie, in a great story. The movie has Al Pacino, Hillary Swank and Robin Williams, and I think it is called "Insomnia". Anyhow, it is a great story with first class acting, and the main line that is said in the early parts of the movie and then again right at the end to make a point, is don't compromise your own principles or ethics or "you will lose your way". What I feel happens when we veer off our main path in recovery.
(And if you ever have had anxiety keep you from sleeping, you will empathize with Al Pacino in the movie.)