Trixi
I would strongly suggest giving AA a try. All the people in AA are also alcoholics and you will be surprised at how much your disease looks like everyone else. I found that keeping my attempting sobriety a secret only lead to defeat. Also, I have found that AA gives you the tools to go on and cope with life. It is about cleaning yourself out on all levels so that you can get on with your life. This is my 45th day of sobriety, and going to AA has changed my life. I too am a mother and just turned 40. There are lots of other women in AA who can help you navigate the early stages of sobriety and beyond. Anyway, good luck!