trixi: You're absolutely right! You've got what you describe as a "monster" (sometimes it's called the "beast") inside you that wants you to resume drinking. This is in the primitive part of the brain known as the midbrain. This is the seat of childish fears and hungers and is responding to the chemical changes in your body which have resulted from sudden removal of alcohol from a system which had adapted itself to an alcohol based environment. So your whole body chemistry has to change back again to normal and what you sense inside yourself is the voice of your addiction crying out for the lost alcohol. It's possible for the more rational part of the brain to resist that voice, disregard it. If it were not so then no one would recover. I found that the best way to do that was to join a group of recovering alcoholics, do it together, support one another. That will give you the support you need to deal with the inner voice. It could be AA or it could be some other kind of group. I found that one to one counseling was not enough for me. Good luck.
W.