I encourage you to read more about ACOA. There is a section here with great information.
You sound very wise and healthy, however getting "stuck" is all to common. IMO, until we address and heal from our pasts, we will continue to repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Personal growth is journey. Somewhere along the way, I got "stuck." Denial and fear took over. In hindsight, I am shocked at what I accepted because I stopped growing.