To let go of the rope. My perspective. I have let go several times. Only to pick it back up again or to insert said "bug" into said orifice- ha ha!
To me, the active drug addict and the active codependent addict fit together so perfectly like two puzzle pieces. They are a perfect match and can exist this way together until the two self-destruct.
But now I have changed so much and he has not changed much at all. So what you get are two pieces that no longer fit. I have tried to go back and now it just does not work.
We are two puzzle pieces that don't match. And it hurts worse each time I try to go back and try to put us back together. So unless you have two recovering people, the pieces eventually just don't fit.
So at that point I cut my losses until I have enough recovery under my belt so that really the only option is to let go of the rope for good. I see no other option.
But if I could do it again. I would have cut and run a long time ago and listened to all the suggestions from everyone. Guess I had more to learn by holding on. Now I am letting go. But the longer you hold on the harder and more painful it becomes.