I have measured my happiness on what others think of me for a long time. I know it's not the right way to think, but it still happens. It creates so much internal chaos and resentment that it's poisonous. I then hate myself even more for thinking that way regardless of how right/wrong it is to do. It's vicious.
So what do I do about it? I do a recovery program. They say if you do this things will eventually get better. They seem to be, so I believe them. It's hard and it sucks sometimes, but I'm not drinking or using drugs. Things couldn't and weren't getting better with drugs and alcohol in my life.