Dear MamaB, this is so very hard on you and I am sorry. My daughter and her boyfriend were both H addicts. My daughter used irregularly for a couple of years and then fell into full addiction for another two years. Her boyfriend, on the other hand, was a full blown addict for almost 10 years. He is about the same age as your son with a similar history.
Both kids truly wanted to quit using H, but while my daughter was able, her boyfriend could not shake his cravings. I did a lot of research and so did they and we all came to the decision that his only option was methadone. It was a very scary decision because it meant that he would probably be using methadone for the rest of his life. And the recovery community seems to look down on methadone as treatment.
While we were researching our options, I learned that H changes the addicts brain over time. After a period, according to my research, the addict's brain can no longer produce endorphins and other feel good natural chemicals. So for these addicts, a 12 step program alone is not sufficient.
So, my daughter's boyfriend is now using Methadone and is kicking himself for not starting the program sooner. His cravings are gone and he is so much happier. He says that he feels normal for the first time in years.
According to the World Health Organization, Methadone and Suboxone have an 80% success rate. It was really frightening for the boyfriend to commit to a life time of Methadone, but we feel that at least now he has a life time ahead of him.
Again, I do not recommend this action to everyone and I would not want my daughter to use it at this point in her addiction, but it is working great for him. I just believe that since your son has tried multiple recovery options and he has been using for many years, you should keep an open mind and consider all options.
As a mom, my thoughts are with you.