Hi everyone - I'm 39 and have been drinking for 20 years, the last three being the worst. I registered here way back in Feb '12 but finally gave in on the 1st of this year. Not as a resolution but so it'd be easier to count the days
For 17 of the 20 years I drank but socially. Sometimes to excess but aside from the occasional hangover it wasn't really an issue or so I thought.
The past three years have been a blur. I'm not sure what pushed me past 'that point' but I went from a social drinker to a hardcore drunk in what seems a night. To be honest the last three years have seemed like one very long night.
About a year ago I noticed that drunk nights and hungover days were starting to be the norm instead of the exception. I say "noticed" because they were the norm long before I became aware or acknowledged it. Truth be told I was drunk every other night with frequent 2 - 3 day benders.
Today I'm 3 weeks sober and although I'm thrilled with my decision to quit it hasn't been w/o struggle and loss.
Prior to Jan. 1st I was involved in a three year relationship with a woman who while sober was incredible and while drunk was the polar opposite. That's where we differed. Although I drank A LOT 99 times out of 100 I was as nice drunk as I was sober. She on the other hand was as mean as they come. Which resulted in arguments and a tenuous "on again off again" relationship.
Two months prior to me quitting completely on the first, I moderated significantly. And when I say 'significantly' I went from 80 drinks a week to a dozen. With the haze mostly removed I found she wasn't quite as tolerable as when I was hammered. We split the day I quit. I knew there was no way I could make my sobriety happen and "us" at the same time. I will never understand how or why our relationship lasted as long as it did.
The hell of it all is that as crazy as the relationship was I miss her more than alcohol. I guess it's possible to be addicted to person too.
Back to not drinking - my first week sucked! I worked - barely - and that was it. Withdraws were rough but not quite as bad as some of the other experiences I've read here. I had the shakes, sweats, and fatigue but that's about it. I slept a lot, drank a lot of water and just took it easy.
The beginning of the second week I decided I'd trade booze for barbells and the treadmill which has made all the difference. In the past two weeks I've been to the gym every day, sometimes twice a day. I guess you could call it my version of working a program. In the process I've lost almost 20lbs which can never hurt. Most of it’s probably bloat but I'll take it where I can get it
I can tell you that I don't miss the hangovers. I don't miss trying to piece together the night before. I don't miss the guilt and certainly don't miss the bar tabs.
What I do miss however is a life. All of my friends and family are drinkers. I know that if I go out I'll drink so I don't go out which is good but incredibly boring. I look at it as having grounded myself for the time being. I've done enough carousing over the years so I guess some boredom isn't the end of the world.
I failed to mention that I stopped smoking a week ago. It seemed that every time I smoked it was paired with a drink. It only made sense to quit. The urge to drink hasn't been too strong, the urge to smoke has been almost unmanageable. I'm using the patch but they're tough to light and they don't stay lit very long.
The past three weeks have been a quite a ride but I’m looking forward to the future!