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Three weeks down

Old 01-20-2013, 06:30 PM
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Cool Three weeks down

Hi everyone - I'm 39 and have been drinking for 20 years, the last three being the worst. I registered here way back in Feb '12 but finally gave in on the 1st of this year. Not as a resolution but so it'd be easier to count the days

For 17 of the 20 years I drank but socially. Sometimes to excess but aside from the occasional hangover it wasn't really an issue or so I thought.

The past three years have been a blur. I'm not sure what pushed me past 'that point' but I went from a social drinker to a hardcore drunk in what seems a night. To be honest the last three years have seemed like one very long night.

About a year ago I noticed that drunk nights and hungover days were starting to be the norm instead of the exception. I say "noticed" because they were the norm long before I became aware or acknowledged it. Truth be told I was drunk every other night with frequent 2 - 3 day benders.

Today I'm 3 weeks sober and although I'm thrilled with my decision to quit it hasn't been w/o struggle and loss.

Prior to Jan. 1st I was involved in a three year relationship with a woman who while sober was incredible and while drunk was the polar opposite. That's where we differed. Although I drank A LOT 99 times out of 100 I was as nice drunk as I was sober. She on the other hand was as mean as they come. Which resulted in arguments and a tenuous "on again off again" relationship.

Two months prior to me quitting completely on the first, I moderated significantly. And when I say 'significantly' I went from 80 drinks a week to a dozen. With the haze mostly removed I found she wasn't quite as tolerable as when I was hammered. We split the day I quit. I knew there was no way I could make my sobriety happen and "us" at the same time. I will never understand how or why our relationship lasted as long as it did.

The hell of it all is that as crazy as the relationship was I miss her more than alcohol. I guess it's possible to be addicted to person too.

Back to not drinking - my first week sucked! I worked - barely - and that was it. Withdraws were rough but not quite as bad as some of the other experiences I've read here. I had the shakes, sweats, and fatigue but that's about it. I slept a lot, drank a lot of water and just took it easy.

The beginning of the second week I decided I'd trade booze for barbells and the treadmill which has made all the difference. In the past two weeks I've been to the gym every day, sometimes twice a day. I guess you could call it my version of working a program. In the process I've lost almost 20lbs which can never hurt. Most of it’s probably bloat but I'll take it where I can get it

I can tell you that I don't miss the hangovers. I don't miss trying to piece together the night before. I don't miss the guilt and certainly don't miss the bar tabs.

What I do miss however is a life. All of my friends and family are drinkers. I know that if I go out I'll drink so I don't go out which is good but incredibly boring. I look at it as having grounded myself for the time being. I've done enough carousing over the years so I guess some boredom isn't the end of the world.

I failed to mention that I stopped smoking a week ago. It seemed that every time I smoked it was paired with a drink. It only made sense to quit. The urge to drink hasn't been too strong, the urge to smoke has been almost unmanageable. I'm using the patch but they're tough to light and they don't stay lit very long.

The past three weeks have been a quite a ride but I’m looking forward to the future!
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Old 01-20-2013, 06:36 PM
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Congrats on your three weeks! I'm glad you didn't bring that relationship with you into the new year, or I'm afraid it might have been a lot tougher.

If you haven't been to an AA meeting, I suggest you give it a try. It's a great way to make new friends who will support the new you. The program can help get you on solid ground with your sobriety so you never have to go back to the mess you just left behind.

I went to meetings every day for my first 90 days. It was great for getting me focused, as well as getting me out and about, meeting new people. I felt like I was doing something every single day to feed my recovery.

Glad to have you here!
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Old 01-20-2013, 06:41 PM
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If you haven't been to an AA meeting, I suggest you give it a try. It's a great way to make new friends who will support the new you. The program can help get you on solid ground with your sobriety so you never have to go back to the mess you just left behind.
Thanks LexieCat! I'm still tossing around AA. I don't have a specific issue with AA, I just haven't committed to going yet. Baby steps I guess
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Old 01-20-2013, 06:47 PM
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Hi there, thank you so much for your experience on quitting drinking, I too am 39 and i have been drinking off and on for many years and just like you i ended up drinking everynight before bed for the past 3 years..my drinking has gone out of control..I quit 7 days ago cold turkey and have gone through withdrawls, cold sweats, headaches, insomnia, anxiety..so I hear ya, I am so glad to hear that things will get better, thank you for your story, cause I was wondering what I should look forward to in my sobriety. Congrats and good luck..keep up the good work.
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Old 01-20-2013, 06:52 PM
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GoingToQuit - i failed to mention insomnia which was (and still is) the worst of my withdrawal symptoms. On the upside, it's easier to wake up after only a few hours of sleep w/o a hangover than it is after 10 hours of sleep w/a hangover. Keep doing what you're doing...congrats on the 7 days. It does get easier
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Old 01-21-2013, 02:01 AM
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Originally Posted by KeepCalm View Post
What I do miss however is a life. All of my friends and family are drinkers. I know that if I go out I'll drink so I don't go out which is good but incredibly boring. I look at it as having grounded myself for the time being. I've done enough carousing over the years so I guess some boredom isn't the end of the world.

I failed to mention that I stopped smoking a week ago. It seemed that every time I smoked it was paired with a drink. It only made sense to quit. The urge to drink hasn't been too strong, the urge to smoke has been almost unmanageable. I'm using the patch but they're tough to light and they don't stay lit very long.
Haha. I did it your way too, stopping drinking and smoking at the same time, I didn't feel like I had a choice cos I have never smoked and not drank. I could drink and not smoke... but that wasn't gonna help me any. I'd recommend reading Allan Carr's book for the smoking side of things.

Don't be bored either. My social life took a nose dive too, but I was only relating it to what it was rather than what it could be. There's no way I am going to be hanging out at bars and in clubs now I am sober, so I made sure I met friends for coffee and Art gallery visits, stuff like that, where the subject of drinking wouldn't even come up.

Welcome to SR x
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Old 01-21-2013, 02:06 AM
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welcome to SR KeepCalm

It can take some time to build a sober life, especially if most of your old one was booze centered...but I think you'll find it's well worth the effort

D
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Old 01-21-2013, 05:22 AM
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My social life took a nose dive too, but I was only relating it to what it was rather than what it could be
Proof again that it's all about attitude and perspective - thanks for that!
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Old 01-21-2013, 05:46 AM
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yes...

Originally Posted by KeepCalm View Post
GoingToQuit - i failed to mention insomnia which was (and still is) the worst of my withdrawal symptoms. On the upside, it's easier to wake up after only a few hours of sleep w/o a hangover than it is after 10 hours of sleep w/a hangover.
I couldn't agree with all of that more. Glad to be sleeping again. One of the main motivators for my quitting is my wife's pregnancy with our third. I can't redo the past and mistakes I made with our first two, 2 and 4, but I sure as hell want to do better for the new one. All of them....

And I'd like to try waking up in the middle of the night with a new baby screaming without a hangover. My body wouldn't be able to handle that with the "old me's" lifestyle...
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Old 01-21-2013, 05:53 AM
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Congrats on three weeks sober!!
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Old 01-21-2013, 06:09 AM
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Congratulations! Early sobriety can be tough. Be very gentle with yourself!
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