Well, then, you've come to the right place!
I suggest that you check out an AA meeting or two (or more, lol). See if you can identify with what people say about how they feel about drinking. You don't have to say anything at all if you don't want to, and if you do want to say something, you don't have to add "and I'm an alcoholic"--you can just say (if you want to) that you are concerned about your drinking and that you would like to listen.
I know completely how it feels to be able to put a few sober days together, get discouraged and give up. At AA meetings you can hear about concrete solutions that will enable you not to HAVE to drink. Wouldn't that be great? Not to mention, you will get to meet other people who understand exactly how you feel.