I can so relate to the family issues
Petunia-
I'm so sorry you are having problems with your parents.
My parents haven't spoken to me in just about 4 years. They do, however, spend lots of time trashing me to my sister. Most days now it doesn't bother me all that much - except where my daughter is concerned. That makes me sad. At other times I waiver between extreme anger and confusion/sadness. How do you hate/dislike/trash one of your kids? Yes, I can see if I was a problem child -- but mostly I'm just a regular person ... I never even knew how much my mother has hated me all of these years until a family melt down about 4 years back ... discovered she'd been telling horrible stories about me for several years ... everyone believed her ... but no one told me ...
Anyway.... I hope you find peace in your life with, or without your parents.
Blessed be
t