My wife learned early on there was no amt of nagging or pleading or manipulating that could get me to stop drinking. She had two alternatives she was considering: 1) live without me with our 13 and 15 year olds or 2) live with me as I was...I am 45 and have been in AA off and on (mostly on, lying abt not drinking) for 12 years. Outside of the first 6 months of continuous sobriety I have never strung together more than 3 days. I was in UK on business when I decided to relapse. Anyway, I now have 58 days and I couldn't have done it without the support from my wife and kids.
The moral of my long winded response was she took control over her life choosing #2 from above (along with the kids) and left me to my own devices. But she says she never felt trapped and would use the first option when she couldn't bear the second any Longer. What she was NOT going to do was waste energy trying to keep me sober.
Take what u want and leave the rest