tenmiles

Hi. I live in Dallas with my partner. I have never posted on a site like this and have no experience with meetings... I dont really know how it works, and dont want to offend anyone here.

My partner is a recovering addict from both drinking and drugs. I live with him, and Im a full time student, so right now he is basically supporting me while I attend studies. He had been sober for years, then he relapsed a couple times, partying with coworkers and stuff like that. Lately his relapses are becomming more and more frequent.

At first I got angry. I yelled at him. We had a big fight. He will lie and sneak and manipulate... anything to justify why he needs to go out, or why he relapsed. I try to ask him to stay home and not go, or if he calls and he is out I tell him that I will come pick him up and bring him home. He will say yes he wants me to pick him up but only after he is "finished". That I wont do. He can take a cab home at 6 or 8 am. I wont wait up while he is out partying. I feel like that is enabling him. I stay up worrying. I dont get sleep. Then when he gets home he blames me saying Im not supportive of his situation. He begs me to drive him to the liquor store. I refuse. He blames me again as not supporting him when he needs me. I tell him if he needs liquor, Im not going to tie him down, he is free to go, but I wont participate by driving him there. I watch him as he takes too many sleeping pills trying to "come down" I have to sit with him to make sure he is okay, because Im afraid he took too many.

I really just do not know what to do anymore. I can not stop him from doing these things. There is no reasoning with him, if he wants to go out and get high, then he will by any means necessary. I tried the getting angry thing, but that just made everything worse. So I stay calm. I tell him he made a bad decision but that doesnt mean I dont love him. But then he shifts the blame on me saying Im not caring or understanding, Im not good enough, I dont understand recovery etc etc. but it is all just him falsely justifying things.

He needs to go to meetings. He used to. He says he will go again, but it never happens. I can not force him to. Im just feeling helpless and I dont know what I should do. Thanks for understanding.