h00ped,
This is so insightful, thank you for taking the time to remind me about this important function of our brains. Positive thinking, I am working on it. I'm also working on deflecting thoughts of STBXAH. I like how you put that, it is so accurate. How many times do I really need to re-live the same conversation, or beat myself up over what I did/didn't do or say? Ok, well apparently it is MANY MANY times
But to do so is unproductive and keeps me stuck.
I do feel like I'm coming out of a mental fog somewhat. After I moved out of our marital home and into my new place in November, and with the holidays, I just wasn't functioning very well. Just kind of going through the motions. I still have a long way to go for clarity and peace of mind. Lately, I feel proactive in a way and more focused, despite my obsessive thinking about STBXAH. I need to start obsessing about myself.
Originally Posted by
h00ped 
An interesting field of science is neuroplasticity. Think of our neural pathways as cords of string or bands of muscle. When your thoughts continually go down a certain path, your brain pathways actually get thicker and thicker.
Same with our thinking patterns. In the beginning, you'll have to very actively think in new ways, and keep doing it daily over and over to strengthen the new paths, and let the other ones unravel.
It will take work, conscious work, but if you keep at it and use the mental tools, you can break out of the obsessive rut. Read and go over and over again any time of positive affirmation, truth, joyful thought, hopeful thought, and let your brain remap itself into a new thought life! Practice deflecting thoughts of STBAXH. And, science is also showing that this will bring more health and wellbeing to your body. Every thought carries a specific chemical messenger that our cells receive, and over time can become addicted to. Ever start craving fight or flight chemicals after you leave your A and the drama dies down?? That's your body talking. In a way we have to detox our bodies from craving the junk food of negative thought chemical messengers. Better immune system, better sleep, etc. awaits.