Welcome to SR.....you are like most of us here in the F&F forum. We've put up with a whole lot of crap from the addicts in our lives.....and sometimes.......we keep going back for more.
One of things that I notice about myself and others who love addicts is that we begin to mirror the addicts behavior and do things that are not characteristic of ourselves. The addicts do to us what drugs do to the addict. The addict is our drug of choice. There is no other way to explain why we do what WE do.
We can't change the addict. It's simply not possible. There is absolutely nothing we will say or do that will flip them into a normal, loving, consistent, human. Nothing.
Addicts do play out the same handbook.....and so do we.
Nothing changes if nothing changes. Once we let go of the hope that the addict will change and concentrate on what we can change (ourselves), things get miraculously better.
We've all been where you are.....the stories may vary slightly, the players are different but the dance is the same.
So......what are you going to do today to nurture yourself? You've taken a great step coming to SR.....there is a lot of collective wisdom here. Welcome....you aren't alone....each and every one of us understand the insanity of loving someone in active addiction.
gentle hugs
ke