Hi justshy - so happy to read that your own recovery is going well and you are feeling better.
My Dad you used to tell me when I was young that when you get married you never know what you are going to end up with. Perhaps that is why I waited soooo long to become involved in a committed relationship of that level. The lesson is important though, people change. Your husband was one person when you married him and is now another. So are you. You either grow together or grow apart. It sounds like your reflection of the relationship is based on what once was. Now many years later it is what it is can it be healed? I certainly don't know the answer to that.
It also sounds like your husband has been broaching the subject of divorce with you for a long time. I would give that some merit. I think we have a tendency to blame all on the alcoholism and forget that alcoholics do have true feelings and desires aside from that to drink.
AS an outsider looking in I would say it would be unfair of your husband to waste more of your time if this is the decision he has made - he doesn't owe your marriage another chance he does owe it to yo to be honest. It sounds like he is being honest for the first time in a long time without the cover of drunkeness for and excuse of not meaning what he said.
You didn't "cause" his alcoholism - its pathetic that he would go there. Truthfully it doesn't sound like either one of you brings out the best in the other. Maybe you should think about that.