JIreland

Even from the title of this I am making myself depressed :p

I hate thinking depressing things..

I have been trying again to quit recently.
I have cut down a lot, but I am really hoping I don't go on the bad road again..

I was on anti-depression tablets (Long story, got attacked, lost position in fire brigade..a lot of time in hospital and turned back to drink)..

I stopped taking the tablets myself last year, but still drunk.
I don't take any tablets at all now, but I had some left over from last year.

I took 7.5mg Zopliclone last night, I had another 2 left and I am going to take them tonight.
I just got 2 hours sleep last night and I was wakening up so often.

I have started exercise again from yesterday.
I really want to drink again...I am feeling very bad because I heard my partner telling her friend she wants to be with someone else she met.

It is good in 1 way, making me quit drinking more, but also bad in the fact that I am soo annoyed.
We live together but have 2 bedrooms and I have been staying in mine since then.

I just want to sleep until the cravings go away and then work on my life once they do..not that easy though.

I really feel like **** about myself and life.