Lateeda - thank you :-)
Something my therapist helped me understand... My best and worst traits are one and the same and it's all about intentions and motives. It's the Machiavellian side I need to keep a choke collar on. Better to stick with the charming diplomat.
Red - no, DD's mom left (me, sanity, reality) when DD was a baby, spent the next 15 years with my ex. Still licking some wounds there and helping DD work through some hurt and resentment. Kinda hit my limit for one lifetime and little stuff like insisting on kindness or at least coutesy has become a bit of a non negotiable for me...
Fortunately therapist told me I'm quite sane when I joked otherwise. Exhausted, a little OCD and maybe a bit depressed but he says I'm shockingly self aware and quick to adapt.
...spent a while being angry at things I allowed but he pointed out I didn't know better. That's kinda the point of being here and seeing him - figure out what's broke, learn, try to fix it and scrape it off your shoe. Life is too short.... Not interested in wasting it on negative emotions.