Thanks all! I appreciate you all alot! Just knowing im not alone and others have experienced the same and worse! Thanks for sharing it gives me insight for myself and some things to also share with my son!
I took him to church this am. He and I did not even dicuss last night! I told him he might want to get something to eat cause we are going to church, he said "okay" and I said im getting in the shower! Then 20 mins before time to go as he was getting ready I said "were leaving in 20 min can you be ready?" He said "yes" and that was it!
The srevice was good and touched on respect and dignity! We both know what happened should not have and at this time there is no tension or anger from him or I. He was respectful and did the chores I asked him to and his attitude was real good all day!
About his father disrespecting me yes and no! I did not have the amount of respect I needed to. He also was very much a huge support of me and that my sons were not to talk to me other than respectul and he himself said I was his "princess" in front of my sons all the time told them what a good woman I was and mother. When he started to show signs of using and he became agitated and snapy and moody, I sent him on his way! Because iam and have been restoring my self esteem and self worth thus my self respect!
About his contacting me and not his kids! Yep! Pretty much a tell tale sign of his mind set! He is looking for someone he can suck into his world to be a tool for his needs. Completely addict in full blown addiction classic case! And a closed case for me! I had a weak moment of desperation and reached out to the person who should be there for his own son but is not! I told my sponsor "yep I went to the hardware store for some bread, hey I need some hairspray let's go to Taco Bell to get some"! Lmao! Its not funny really and is very sad for him and my son and me! But I used that analogy and a little humor to lighten the moment and put it into perspective!
Teens are hard and it is a very difficult age! My mom alwys told us 4 kids she raised, "if you can survive toddlers and teens you will be alright"! Man was she not kidding! I would take a truck load of toddlers over a few teens anyday! Geezzz!
My brother has stepped in over the years but works 2 jobs now and has a family too, so his time is next to none! Big brothers tried that several years ago and had a bad experience. So now this church we went to before and again today is really huge on "'Men with honor and dignity" they have several programs there for youth and young men! Sounds very promising! And my son called the church "fun" today when we got home!
One day at a time! Greatful for alot of things today! Espically people like you all! Prayers for you and your loved ones!
Oh and the phone call back I was told by ex he would give...... Never happened! Shocker! And I did real good with keeping the focous on our son and not buying into any of his "trickery" and razzle dazzle baffling bull crap! I still may get a call but I may or may not answer. I don't have any need or desire to talk to him after last night! He is using pills or at least went to er room for back problems, he does not know what happened just could hardly walk and its been bothering him for a while he said! So I said oh so your all hopped up on pain pills? Anyway does not matter what he is doing I know what he is not! And that's not being a father! And until he stops using what ever he chooses it wont change! So I will live my life raising our sons the best I can, continue to grow and reach out for help from different sources and provide the best life for my sons that I can! And trust my God of my understanding to guide me and trust he will provide for me and my sons what we need to stay healty and heal our hearts and strengthn our spirits! I will continue to pray for my ex too! But our lifes will go forward in a positive direction with or without his involvement! Addiction is a theif and I hate it, but remember to keep my hate of what addiction is and does to families seperate from the addict!