Originally Posted by
ggsings4him 
What do you all think? I am a christian woman and hate divorce - we've been married for 26 years in April and he has been doing drugs and have reasons to think he has been with other women before as our 1st year of marriage I found out he spent the night with my best friend in a hotel - they deny doing anything and that they were just drunk. I think I would be a fool to stay - I don't even know how I could ever get over the trust issue - he hasn't had any desire to be with me sexually and I'm not an ugly woman. Most people say I'm very pretty. I am a christian and value what God says about divorce but I'm feeling like this is enough already - for me to believe he hasn't been unfaithful sexually is probably pretty dumb of me...
I am so sorry you are going through all of this. It is always so easy to give other members here on SR advice - looking at what others write objectively. So here goes. This is my advice - not knowing your full history or having ever met you - based purely on what I have read above - so take what you need and forgive me if I am not always accurate:
1) I am a Christian too - and I don't believe for one moment that God intends you to remain in a deeply unhappy marriage. In fact from what I can read you are in an extremely ABUSIVE marriage. Emotional abuse is no different to physical abuse - it breaks down your very spirit and your self worth as a woman. If there are children involved it is even worse. Children are aware of everything and it is YOUR responsibility to YOURSELF and your children to seek immediate assistance.
2) Your husband is showing you absolutely NO respect. He has lied to you over and over again. He is abusing you and taking every advantage of your kindness and humility and abusing your strong Christian principles
3) Your husband is exposing you to all the dreaded diseases and who knows what else. He is living a lie and leaves his family home to seak out drugs, prostitutes - who knows who he could expose you too .
4) Please, please seek professional counselling. you need to understand what is going on with your own inner voice - your own traumas - you need to work on yourself, grow your wings, get your strength back. You deserve so much more. Please don't let money fill you with fear. Please don't stay with an abusive man because of business and finances. Seek legal and financial assistance immediately. Find out what your options are. I know this is frightening, but sometimes it is worth losing out financially for the sake of emotional freedom. It is not possible for ou to run your business efficiently whilst you are under this enormous personal pressure. It might feel like you are in hell right now. You are filled with fear of loss. Loss of what you believed was a marriage and loss of business. Loss of money. But fear is no place to base any decision on. 'Fear is the mind killer'.
Trust in God. Don't fear the unknown. Get all the strength and support you can from your community, lawyers, advocates, church members, priests. Arm yourself with knowledge and make a plan! Have a stategy to get out of this marriage. (it is NO marriage). Don't lull yourself into a false sense of security believing in the bonds of marriage - hoping your husband will pull himself together and come back. It seems it has been too many years.
Dear Friend - tak the leap of faith - pick up your skirts and run!
Believe me - it might get worse from here - yes, you might lose a bit of money - but you will get strong again - you will fight - God will look after you - and in a few years you won't look back! Be like a warrior! Arm yourself and conquer the world!