Originally Posted by
lillamy 
YES! Accepting just means you stop fighting reality.
Doesn't mean you can't look for answers to the "why?" if you're so inclined.
But when I looked for answers to "why?" I was really looking for the "so I can fix it" and accepting I couldn't was almost as hard as accepting the way things were.
I'm getting closer and closer to full acceptance at this point. AH is crazier than ever. Our marriage counselor basically dumped us because AH is not willing to work on the marriage, he just complains about the world and his anger and how put upon he is. I'm surprised we even got this far, LOL. Anyway, AH is supposed to be going to his own therapist weekly and then we're to check in with the marriage counselor every 4-6 weeks now. I think he offered that to us as a way to appease us instead of saying, "I'm done with this. Don't bother coming back because I can't help you if the husband won't put effort in." Sigh, so I'm looking to file for a legal separation at this point because he doesn't seem to care about the consequences of his actions and how they affect his family and I thought maybe the marriage therapist could help, but it was a futile effort on my part.