Originally Posted by Quadracersteve

36 yr old male and cannot remember not being sad, lonely, angry and depressed. It feels as if the more you care the more you get hurt. I find it hard to accept life, yet I love watching life in progress. I love how it works it's wonders. Mother nature makes me smile, yet I cannot understand how humans can act so selfishly. I adore the simple things that go on in this world, and would love to share it with others. I so want to share this experience with someone. Make them smile, and hopefully they would do the same with me. I'm here to give my heart and soul, but it seems no one wants to take it. My anxiety gives me nothing but guilt and being scared, yet I cannot open up to people as quick as most can. When I do, most, if not all, have already have formed an opinion of me, which is usually wrong. I would do anything to have a mutual partner in life to go through times where I could cry on their shoulder and be there if they needed the same. I need someone to talk to and if needed, I was always told I am a good listener who also offers his opinion on whatever needs to be spoken. I do not shy away from things, yet I also have a soul that understands what people would like to hear, even if it is only to comfort them. Is this a selfish "want", or is this something that people from generations ago were willing to give to have comfort in this world? I cry everyday wishing that I would meet my "soulmate" yet I have not had that luxery to do so. Where are you? BTW, I'm a recovering heroin, cocaine, benzo, pretty much everythig addict. Being sober allows me to finally feel the pain I was always hiding. You name a drug and I've detoxed from it. Soberiety is wonderful and yet it sucks when you're all alone.