Notices

Lonely, anxious and depressed.

Old 01-10-2013, 09:13 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3
Red face Lonely, anxious and depressed.

36 yr old male and cannot remember not being sad, lonely, angry and depressed. It feels as if the more you care the more you get hurt. I find it hard to accept life, yet I love watching life in progress. I love how it works it's wonders. Mother nature makes me smile, yet I cannot understand how humans can act so selfishly. I adore the simple things that go on in this world, and would love to share it with others. I so want to share this experience with someone. Make them smile, and hopefully they would do the same with me. I'm here to give my heart and soul, but it seems no one wants to take it. My anxiety gives me nothing but guilt and being scared, yet I cannot open up to people as quick as most can. When I do, most, if not all, have already have formed an opinion of me, which is usually wrong. I would do anything to have a mutual partner in life to go through times where I could cry on their shoulder and be there if they needed the same. I need someone to talk to and if needed, I was always told I am a good listener who also offers his opinion on whatever needs to be spoken. I do not shy away from things, yet I also have a soul that understands what people would like to hear, even if it is only to comfort them. Is this a selfish "want", or is this something that people from generations ago were willing to give to have comfort in this world? I cry everyday wishing that I would meet my "soulmate" yet I have not had that luxery to do so. Where are you? BTW, I'm a recovering heroin, cocaine, benzo, pretty much everythig addict. Being sober allows me to finally feel the pain I was always hiding. You name a drug and I've detoxed from it. Soberiety is wonderful and yet it sucks when you're all alone.
Quadracersteve is offline  
Old 01-10-2013, 09:23 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
lilyrosemary's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: minnesota
Posts: 272
You sound like someone anyone would and should be grateful to have in their life. you sound a little like my son, who is 31. i have suggested to him online dating, etc. but he has reservations about it. but in my opinion, its really the best way to meet people now. my words to him are that it will happen when you least expect it and when you are not looking. just be yourself and that perfect person for you will notice. oh yeah, one more very important thing...smile. i am not kidding, try it. best wishes to you.
lilyrosemary is offline  
Old 01-10-2013, 09:32 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: PORTLAND
Posts: 1
Hi. I understand I have been sober many years and am a widow/divorced Other unfortunate things are going on via the economy, job market, etc. And It feels VERY lonely. Even going to meetings leaves me with a sense of loneliness sometimes. Because I go home alone.

I'm sorry you are suffering right now. It is temporary and kind of comes and goes. But you have kindly helped me today feel a little less isolated and afraid. Thank you. I just have to constantly remind my that somewhere, someone is feeling the very same sadness, fear, isolation that I am feeling right now. Then I don't feel quite so alone.

thank you again my friend.
jlockerby is offline  
Old 01-10-2013, 10:24 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3
I wish my txt was for someone besides myself, but I guess I am selfish to want to find someone who is looking for the same thing as I am. I so feel for people who feel as I do. This is not the way the creator wanted us to feel, IMO. I feel arrogant and selfish when I put these feelings to txt. Where has humanity gone when we cannot express ourselves in words to others? Is it selfishness to expect others to have a heart and actually use it to support others in time of need? All I want is someone who will listen, give advice, and understand when I don't want to listen, although I DO hear when someone is speaking the truth. Sometimes it does take time for words to sink in and understand that there are others out there that feel the same, if not worse than I do. AGAIN, I feel selfish even putting these thoughts into words when I know I have it easier than others do. I apologise to those that have it worse than I, and know that I would give my life to have others happy, even if I am not. Lonelyness is not a way to go through life when you have someone who loves you. Please do not take that kindness for granted when you have someone on your side. I wish I could open up to people quickly, but it's not to be. It takes time for me, and time is not on my side. I wish people could view life from my eyes. The beauty of a sunrise. The stars at night, and everything in between. Living is fantastic if you have someone to share it with.
Quadracersteve is offline  
Old 01-10-2013, 04:06 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
hypochondriac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Originally Posted by Quadracersteve View Post
All I want is someone who will listen, give advice, and understand when I don't want to listen, although I DO hear when someone is speaking the truth. Sometimes it does take time for words to sink in and understand that there are others out there that feel the same, if not worse than I do.
I think you've just described SR Steve Welcome x
hypochondriac is offline  
Old 01-10-2013, 06:32 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
SR Fan
 
artsoul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Quadracersteve -

Congrats on getting sober! I think we all deal with loneliness sometimes but there may be something else going on if, like you said, you "cannot remember not being sad, lonely, angry and depressed." Have you ever thought about seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist? So many of us (alcoholics/addicts) have underlying issues that we need to address in order to stay sober.

It's tempting to look to a relationship to fill the void or make us happy, but it usually doesn't work that way.

Glad you've joined us!
artsoul is offline  
Old 01-10-2013, 06:37 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
vegibean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
STEVE!!!! You sound wonderful to me. Why not try looking and just letting it happen?

You know, the man I met and am now engaged to I met online. He's is the sweetest, most caring, loving man EVER!!! Now the jokes non-stop can be a little nerving at times, ha ha!! But I found a good one and my entire life (while I was a broken mess) I had nothing but jerks for boyfriends, and my X husband...???? What I know now, WTH was I thinking???

:ghug3

You're not alone, and I adored your post, it was lovely, thanks for sharing your feelings with us. ~ Vegi.
vegibean is offline  
Old 01-10-2013, 07:09 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,671
I get lonely and depressed sometimes too. It helps to have my dogs and cats for company. They keep me from feeling totally alone.
least is offline  
Old 01-10-2013, 07:22 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Frederica Delaware
Posts: 2
Post

Originally Posted by Quadracersteve View Post
36 yr old male and cannot remember not being sad, lonely, angry and depressed. It feels as if the more you care the more you get hurt. I find it hard to accept life, yet I love watching life in progress. I love how it works it's wonders. Mother nature makes me smile, yet I cannot understand how humans can act so selfishly. I adore the simple things that go on in this world, and would love to share it with others. I so want to share this experience with someone. Make them smile, and hopefully they would do the same with me. I'm here to give my heart and soul, but it seems no one wants to take it. My anxiety gives me nothing but guilt and being scared, yet I cannot open up to people as quick as most can. When I do, most, if not all, have already have formed an opinion of me, which is usually wrong. I would do anything to have a mutual partner in life to go through times where I could cry on their shoulder and be there if they needed the same. I need someone to talk to and if needed, I was always told I am a good listener who also offers his opinion on whatever needs to be spoken. I do not shy away from things, yet I also have a soul that understands what people would like to hear, even if it is only to comfort them. Is this a selfish "want", or is this something that people from generations ago were willing to give to have comfort in this world? I cry everyday wishing that I would meet my "soulmate" yet I have not had that luxery to do so. Where are you? BTW, I'm a recovering heroin, cocaine, benzo, pretty much everythig addict. Being sober allows me to finally feel the pain I was always hiding. You name a drug and I've detoxed from it. Soberiety is wonderful and yet it sucks when you're all alone.
Wow I feel like a rookie, I blew it w/my Soulmate.......................................... ....
Don't make things happen, Let'em happen; Hang in!
LostOkie is offline  
Old 01-10-2013, 07:23 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
kizzy40's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 275
Hi Quadracersteve, what an amazing post!
You have pulled yourself up from the depths of serious addiction and can still see the beauty in the world, that is one rare gift.

Volunteer work is a great way of meeting new people, religious and charitable organisations would appreciate your help and you will extend your network of friends
kizzy40 is offline  
Old 01-10-2013, 07:26 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Frederica Delaware
Posts: 2
Not sure if I can be tutored but I'm really lost in here....................HELP PLEASE
This "old man" doesn't blog or have the knowlege to use a fourm

Last edited by LostOkie; 01-10-2013 at 07:30 PM. Reason: spelling and a newbie
LostOkie is offline  
Old 01-11-2013, 06:37 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3
Thank you for all your warm welcomes. It truely is a miracle I'm still alive. Yes, I do see a psychiatrist, and that's where lots of my "drugs" came from. I know my doctor is a caring person, for he is the only one who actually listens to me when I have nothing but complaints to spew. I've seen more than my fair share of doctors and have been on so many meds I cannot think of one I haven't tried. Other than benzos for my anxiety, and opiates for pain, nothing seems to work, and those have finally stopped working or tolerance has built up so much I have reached the limit of my meds. I do not want to go through life in an amnesia haze where I don't remember anything, good or bad. That's what benzos did to me. AD meds, for me, are useless. Counciling is something I cannot afford, yet I still seek to find help from one. Money always seems to be an issue, and sliding payscales don't work either when you are broke. Every friend I had now uses some sort of drug, and I learned I cannot be around them or else I fall right back into the same routine of living to be numb. Animals, (pets), are a wonderful thing to have in your life, but it just so happens that I had to put my dog of almost 16 yrs down 3 days ago because of a tumor. Almost had me relapsing. She, (Zoe), was always there to greet me every morning and every night. Twelve pounds of unconditional love I still look to make sure she has food/water, then realize she's gone. She had a better personality than most humans I come in contact with. I still find myself looking down at my feet expecting to see her lying there. The house is so silent. I have stopped looking for that special "someone", hoping that they will walk into my life when I least expect it. I'm still waiting... I also have thought about helping others, yet my social anxiety is so bad I cannot get out w/out getting physically sick. I've followed the directions of "facing my fears", yet for me, it's like telling someone with a broken leg to,"walk it off". Sorry, but it hurts too bad. I also envy those that get help from AA/NA. for me, I would walk out of those meetings with more cravings than I went in with. It just seems to be a lot of reminissing, which makes me remember the times I would use to get away from life for just a while. God bless those who get help from meetings. I always remember asking an old psychologist of mine if there were any meetings around my area where people like myself could get together. Her response was,"No, but why don't you try starting one"? I had to remind her why I was seeing her in the first place.
Quadracersteve is offline  
Old 01-11-2013, 06:57 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
"Lonely, anxious and depressed." along with drunk, stoned and hopeless.

Steve, I found the solution to all the above in the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (or NA).

AA is about getting sober and learning to live life on life's terms in a comfortable way.

I wish you the best.

Bob R
2granddaughters is offline  
Old 01-11-2013, 08:06 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
BabyJane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: San Diego
Posts: 611
Your post made my heart hurt for you. I think a lot of us ex-addicts and alcoholics are like you, very sensative, secretly shy although we try very hard to cover it up, artistic, soulful, tend to be alone because we can't get close to people without that fear creeping in... My only advice to you is be patitent and don't rush a relationship. They always seem to come into our lives where we're not looking; at least that's my experience.

Congrats on your sober time keep going!
BabyJane is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:46 AM.