Lara
i had a guy in my life that i thought was really special and that we had an amazing connection. but the reality of the situation was that we only had an amazing connection when HE wanted there to be one. so on a few occasions i have tried to just stop contacting. i didnt tell him what i did or why, and he continued to call and call, and i ignored. but he never stopped. eventually i gave in and we would talk.
i knew he wanted more than friends but i justified it by saying well i wasn't interested and i have told him that, so it isnt an issue.
my bf had a different opinion and in the end i decided that this guy isnt a REAL friend, so why keep him in my life. this time though i sent an email. i have put that email below. now remember this is a guy i have known and loved at points for 8 years. we have been through ups and downs, but have always stayed in contact. and this is what my goodbye letter ended up as.
"after our phone call the other day i realised that our friendship is not a positive influence in my life. you seem to want my relationship to fail for some reason. i have only offered you friendship in the last few years, and i thought you understood that is all i want from you, as any ideas of a romantic relationship ended when we broke up. but you do not seem to want to respect my current relationship. that is not fair on me, and certainly not fair on Adrian. he does not deserve a gf who is staying in contact with someone she knows wants more than friendship with her.
im sorry, and i do wish you all the best in what you want in life
please do not contact me. this is not up for discussion."
his reply was polite and respectful, and i have not heard from him since.
(this was only last week)
as you can see you dont need to go into great detail to end something that once meant a great deal to you. keep it short, sweet, and without emotion. it makes it a lot easier to let go. (believe me i have written the lengthy goodbye letters and if i was honest with myself it wasnt a goodbye letter, it was, i love you so much and i dont want to do this, but i just feel...bla bla bla letter).
keep it simple Lara, and you will get through it. take a moment at a time, and breath in-between. you will be fine.
Lee-anne