CO Dad, maybe this little Buddhist parable will help.
One time there was a fox swimming across the river when it saw a scorpion stranded on a rock. The fox swam up to the scorpion and said that he would take it to the other side if the scorpion promised not to sting the fox.
The scorpion promised and the fox had it climb on top of his head.
About halfway across the scorpion stung the fox. The fox asked why the scorpion stung him, now they would both drown.
The scorpion replied it's my nature, I'm a scorpion, I sting.
So to me I don't care why anymore, I'm tired of being stung.
Your friend,