angry
I want to be angry..throw things.smash things..yell.. i want to be angry..drink until Im stupid...eat myself to oblivion..i want to be angry..say hurtful things and hate him..i want to be brutally honest..i want to destroy everything he has and tellnthe world what he has done..the lies he has told..the blame he has placed.. i want to punch and kick and nash my teeth.; but I dont because more than anything I want the me I was before him. I want the hurt to fade. The lies to erase..the betrayal to not have been. I want The dreams to stop and the want to cease. I want to smile and mean it..i want to laugh for real..i want to stop searching sr for an answer..a sign..I want to stop loving him and stop hating myself.
Just needed to vent..this **** has broken me.. i think I may need to see a professional.