Said - you got daddy issues, I gots mommy issues, both gots issues allowing ourselves to emote.... Nice thing about therapy and forum is that you see yourself in others and it kinda validates the " ok, I am responding normally to a common stressor" ...then it's easier to figure out how to respond healthily instead of normally.
Addicts when active mimic many traits of NPD... Your feelings don't matter because empathy is not there.
I really had my confidence in my own sanity shaken after my ex, meant a lot when my therapist told me I was a lit saner than I thought and very good at seeing, accepting and adapting once aware of where my thinking is off. Still have second half if my life to go, no reason I can't live it much differently :-)
Hang in there and give yourself a break. It's tough when you realize that it isn't the other person you dislike so much as the person you are or were when around them....
I'm getting very good at spotting the type of person who triggers my little weirdisms and either avoiding them or very quickly establishing thick steel boundaries with them.
Kinda funny - few months back I had to deal with that profile at work - someone who bullies and demeans in order to control and I didn't flinch at all, just completely shredded his argument and told him not to go after one of my department heads unless he had the facts... My boss was shocked since I'm rarely combative... He asked me later why I got so angry and I just laughed... Said I wasn't angry at all,must dog psychology... Little dog likes to run around yapping until a bigger dog gets in his face and says WOOF! ..l then he pees down his leg and leaves you be.
Another benefit of figuring out the dynamics of our unhealthy relationships, once you know what the other person is doing and why you can more easily disarm them or, if nasty streak is driving that day, deball them. Bullies set me off ;-)