Yes I do have lots of confusing emotions...
It's been 6 months since breakup with axbf. I have had a few really good days the past few weeks and some truly awful ones. I do miss the "good times" as there certainly were lots of them. There were many interests that we shared together. I spent most of the last 3 years with him and his friends and have been struggling to rebuild my life again. I was kind of lonely on New Year's Eve, for instance. It sounds like you have been going through the same kinds of growing pains.
Then I get angry when I reflect upon all of the broken promises and his verbal abuse. He could be downright rude and nasty when he was in a bad mood, and especially if he had been out drinking with his friends the night before.
I think it is normal to have conflicting feelings about breakups. I mean, even if they are good for us in the long-term, suffering through the short-term is not always easy. We get very attached to people (especially us codies).
It doesn't help that I keep running into him (he works right across the street from me now, grrrr).
Anyway, hang in there it sounds like you're doing well!