Major codie relapse here. White knuckle it through the holidays and then found out my AH is in a relationship (we have been separated for 3 years). It hurts just as bad as before and I wonder why I can't get past it. But yes they come less frequently and it is usually a sign that I need to work my program, and stop romanticizing what could have been and only the good parts of our relationship. There were so many good things and I have to accept that that part of my life is over. But there will be plenty more good times ahead for me. Sometimes I just have to focus on the things that I had such a hard time with that are no longer part of my daily life. There is a peacefulness to not living with active drinking that makes me feel that I will be strong enough to not put myself in that situation again. Keep up the good work with your program and know that others are here for when you need a hug, kind words or a reality check.