m1k3-That magical thinking can really get you!
Just wanted to comment that I think your point about mourning how you "wanted it to be" can be very powerful to me as well. I was in denial about his addictions and I think I projected the idea that there was a bond between us that never really existed because a connection with an addict is not possible. I do feel my growth in a very spiritual way when I make connections with my Al-Anon friends; they understand and reciprocate in a way that no addict ever could. I hope that soon that will become the norm rather than the exception and I will learn not to accept anything less from the people in my life. Thanks.