You don't have to ever do that again or feel like that again, if you just avoid your first drink.
If you don't have that first drink, you cannot get drunk and blackout.
You are probably feeling raw and pretty shocked with yourself just now.
Just be wary that these feelings will start to fade and then you might hear a little voice telling you its okay, you can drink again, just one or two will not hurt.
I have had numerous experiences with blacking out.
Awful experiences.
Ones that still cause me shame and guilt.
They became more unpredictable. Less alcohol was needed to have one.
I know look at a glass of wine with nothing but fear. One glass of wine could take me anywhere. It could hurt me and hurt others.
Just take it one day at a time, don't think too far ahead, come here and post and read and learn about alcohol.
I think you will soon find yourself in a better frame of mind.
Take care xxxx