We're so glad you came here, screename. We're here to listen and help, and you are not whining. You need an outlet for your emotions - we all do.
I'm sorry for the situation you're in. Nothing is made better by getting numb and foggy, though. You need a clear head to figure out how to deal with this. I hope you can find a solution. Please continue to talk to us about things - we care about you. Also, thank you for serving your country. It is appreciated by us all.