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Old 01-02-2013, 01:37 AM
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Confused

I drink a lot. I drink probably around 8-12 beers a day on average. I am a medic in the infantry in the Army. My superiors are horrible to me. I did not drink before the army, but I have 2.5 years left. I am leaving for a month next week for field training then I leave for deployment shortly after.

I feel like a shitbag because I have not deployed yet. I feel like I have no reason to feel stressed out. But every single day at work is ******* awful. I spend every night that I am not at work worrying about going to work. I am up super late tonight because I have a late call coming back from paternity/Christmas leave. I am drunk now. My wife does not understand that every day that I go to work is like living on pins and needles. I complain while I am at home so much, she hates it. I try to suck it up so I can continue on to make a decent living for my wife and 3 week old son, but after over a year of it I am realizing that I cannot continue drinking like this every day. My liver will go out or I will get in trouble. I cannot really talk to anyone about it. My wife has 0 sympathy or understanding for it. My coworkers always complain about all the wrongs at work. We have several alcoholics at work but everyone turns it into a joke.

I feel like a ***** for coming on here and whining. But I have to let off some steam.

Any tips/tricks or advice would be much appreciated.
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Old 01-02-2013, 02:20 AM
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You are not whining. Just describing your situation; a situation that many of us are familiar with. Most people would see this as a call for help.

My suggestion is that you talk honestly with someone who understands by having been there. I phoned AA and started on the road to recovery that way. There are other recovery groups out there. Call AA. Call somebody. Meet with somebody.

I urge you to follow through on this. Othererwise your self-loathing about coming on here and whining may have some basis in fact. Get beyond the self-pity and do something to help yourself and your family. What people at work think is of very little importance compared to the life and wellbeing of your wife and child.

I know from experience. Our family is grateful for AA and my sobriety. Sobriety Rocks! Try it.

~dox
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Old 01-02-2013, 02:39 AM
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It's good that you're aware of the problem. Many of us have walked the same path as you. I drank hard for 25 years, and I'm astonished that I seem (knock on wood) not to have permanently damaged myself. The last few years it's been 20+ bottles of wine per week, drinking 365 days per year.

The rule of thumb is that if you think you have a problem you probably do. Can you speak to a military chaplin? There are lots more resources for behavioral health in the military than there were 20 years ago. If nothing else look for an AA chapter. Or google AVRT; that really helped me.

Your wife doesn't understand because she can't. I don't think anyone can really understand an addict without having been one. But you don't have to face this burden alone.
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Old 01-02-2013, 04:20 AM
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Glad you are here to talk about this, as it seems that you feel no one else will understand you. There are no tricks or tips to alcoholism. You stop and stay stopped. Easy to say, eh? I was chugging vodka like gatorade and knew that I couldn't live like that anymore. I couldn't live with the drink, I couldn't live without it. My wife was suffering from it, and our young boy was feeling it as well. I wasn't present as a father, or a husband....or an employee, a son, a neighbor, etc. either, in fact. I was wrapped up in myself and how the world had done me wrong and I was getting screwed over by everything and everyone. Hate was a full-time hobby and self-pity was my best pal.

But when I got to that tipping point, I realized I needed help. For me, AA was how I managed to stop and stay stopped. Not only do I not drink, but I have become a better dad, hubby, friend, employee...I have more energy, more peace, more understanding, and a different way of looking at life. It's not all roses - life goes on still - but it's how I react to it that changes the game.

I hope you look at a program of recovery - alcoholism isn't a joke.

All the best
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Old 01-02-2013, 05:27 AM
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you story sounds a lot like mine. I ran out of ears to listen to my wining. I'd wine about my job and everything 8921389213 times to the same person peopel where sick and tired of listening to me i could tell but where too polite most times to tell me that thankfully. But i new if i kept it up they woudlnt be so polite about it much longer. I couldnt stand my job I hated it. it was to the point where i was thinking of just getting drunk while at work even who cares if i get canned.

Well fast forward i'm over a year sober now same job that i HATE and despise. I still wish i'd get fired. But i'm not freaking the frick out about it anymore I'm sober and i'm getting through it one day at a time. Its a lot easier sober. I need the income to support me and my family. But i know that if i lost this gig it might also be a blessing in disquise so in the meantime I suck it up and go about my merry way with my job. I'm glad to be sober and it helps a lot being sober to get through it. It was a painful transition from drunkenness to sobreity i wont sugar coat that. But Im better off now.

I feel for you your story sounds a lot like mine hang in there!
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Old 01-02-2013, 10:29 AM
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See the chaplain. Do NOT go up your chain of command. Alcoholism is seen as a very good excuse to lose any security clearance you may have.
There are AA mtgs on some bases, but believe me they are well hidden in the chaplain's office.
Also, think on this aspect: on deployment, if you were wounded, would you like a drunk trying to save your own life?
Please, make that phone call.
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Old 01-02-2013, 05:04 PM
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Yes see the Chaplin, my brother in law is a something something I forget his rank but he is a Chaplin in the military and gets calls like this all the time. It's very common to see alcohol abuse in the services from returning troops and troops that have not gone over seas yet. He does a lot of marriage counseling also. They were just on leave and brought my sister home for Christmas. We talked a lot around the card table about the problems our service men are having.
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Old 01-02-2013, 06:03 PM
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We're so glad you came here, screename. We're here to listen and help, and you are not whining. You need an outlet for your emotions - we all do.

I'm sorry for the situation you're in. Nothing is made better by getting numb and foggy, though. You need a clear head to figure out how to deal with this. I hope you can find a solution. Please continue to talk to us about things - we care about you. Also, thank you for serving your country. It is appreciated by us all.
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