Originally Posted by
Tellmenolies 
My reasoning is
1.god brought us together and we should work out our problems as witness to others
2.RA
3.i am too strong and he can't handle me and who could
4. No ones perfect
5. What about our friends
6.our family
7.everyone thinks I am so lucky to have such a wonderful man
8. My problems are not as bad as most people's A
9.my kids are adults but living at home ... Family will mean something different for them
10. Money
12.i work from my house
13. He will do anything to keep me
14. Everything he does is for me not for him and this is his problem and mine no backbone passive aggressiveness has double edged sword ...u think i should be happy cuz i get everything i want just not a real relationship if that makes any sense
15.is anyone really happy?others will have problems too.
16.Have been together 33 years and its all I know
Tellmenolies,
Just like true recovery authentic Christians actually walk out the gospel not just occupy pews or read the Bible. Jesus's harshest words were for the "religious" of the day that were the Pharisees and Sadducess and today's religious with no true fruit are no different.
Sadly, in many Christian circles we still look at the "outside of the cup" and fail to see beyond that especially when it comes to marriage and divorce.
I also believed that my XA and myself were put together by God and I was so devoted to the coming "miracle" that I completely enmeshed myself "helping God" by sticking with the toxic situation.
I was astonished to learn that God never expects us to tolerate unrepentant sin and even God "tough loved" those that refused to repent throughout scripture.
Why did allow his "children" to be carried off into captivity or tromp around the desert for an extra 40 years? Because he hates sin ... period.
If you are the upright spouse and have done all you can and your husband continues to be unrepentant you are released to seperate and even file for divorce and give him an opportunity to truly repent and demonstrate true change and fruit before you finalize the divorce.
If you are interested in finding out more about this there is a book by Mark Gaither called "Redemptive Divorce" that is very, very good. Its available on Amazon.
And if you are interested in a pastor/psychologist who knows addiction I have an amazing counselor who you could counsel with by phone.
PM me if interested...he is a true man of God, a biblical scholar with an understanding of psychology as well. His son is a recovered addict.