Finally ready to commit.
Its a new year, I feel its time to officially change my life.
I've been on these forums before, and despite wanting to start a road to recovery, I was really half-assing it thinking I could learn to drink safe. So With last night/this morning past, I want that to be the last time I ever feel drunk.
I knew New Years was going to be a sloppy mess, but I took it to a whole new level. I had picked up a friend who I've had some romantic interest in, and then went to a bar. About 4 drinks into that (about an hour) Others we knew came down and met us. I lost track of what I had then due to friends ordering shots. After that was a blurry venture to a nearby friends party, where I continued to drink. Completely forget the New Year itself. I remember 11:50 and 12:02. Knocked over a bottle of wine onto a white rug to make sure the host hated me and remembers me as that person. Good for me. I remember trying to talk to my romantic interest and her face said it all, quite disgusted with who I was. Someone tried to convince me to stay at their home, but I convinced them to give me a ride home. And with that, I woke up this morning, hung over, regretful, and not remembering which one of my good friends gave me a ride. I think its time I change my life 100%. I know that the "I'll just have one drink" is ********. I learned that I cannot safely drink. I will be spending the first day of 2013 apologizing to everyone I know, and knowing what a huge ass I was. I need to start finding ways to make things right. Here's to (hopefully) a new me, a new year, and one not drenched with booze and regret.