My mind tries to find ways to justify or rationalize drinking, tries to trick me into drinking again. It's sneaky. But I'm learning to recognize it. To me, my obsession and fantasies of being a 'normal' drinker again further proves I'm an alcoholic..because the non-alcoholic people I know don't seem to struggle with these insane thought processes.
For me, New years won't be too much of a trigger. Seems like just another day. I will watch the ball drop on TV, and stay home and read. There are a few AA meetings in my area if I need a place to go. Takin it easy, No biggie.